The last couple of weeks I have found myself in a bit of a writing funk. I’m still trying to write a little every day, and am busting out two chapters a week, but it’s feeling more like a chore. I’ve lost that desperate need to sit down and let the words pour out of me. I wouldn’t call it writer’s block, because I know exactly what I want to say and how to say it. I just plain don’t want to do it. I’d rather use the free time I’ve been able to carve out for the day to clean the house, hang out with my kiddos, or sit on my butt in front of the television for a whole twenty minutes of “me” time. I’m afraid that this funk I’m feeling is going to reflect in the writing I manage to get done. I don’t want my story to suffer just because I’m stuck in funky town.
Even sitting here writing this blog, I’m cringing to myself. I’m laying in bed next to my baby boy, and all I want to do is put my computer down and snuggle the heck out of him. But I know I need to push on to get past it. At least, I hope that’s all it’s going to take. I think the issue is I’m suffering from a lack of motivation at the moment. Even though I set goals for myself each week, it’s not doing it for me at the moment. The words, “What’s the point?” keep crossing through my mind. I mean, really, I know the answer. The point is to write a story I’m proud of, to do justice to my beloved Emma, and to give this mama something for herself…blah, blah, blah. But I think where I’m getting stuck is a concrete, tangible reason to write this story.
The other two MS’s I’ve finished, I was focused on an end game. Get an agent, get published, write more books. The problem I’m running into is that I’ve got the agent, the agent as sent out submissions, and fours weeks of crickets have passed and I’m slowly losing my mind. Out of the five submissions sent out, I had two requests for full Ms’s and one pass. So, of course, my head is spinning with the possibilities of nothing but rejection coming out this torturous wait. Which brings me to my lack of motivation. If I am unable to get a contract for the MS being sent out, I won’t be able to get one for the second MS, or my WIP. So why finish the WIP until I know there’s a reason for it?
Again, I know the answer to this question. There’s no way I could set Emma and her story aside and just not finish. To begin with, my mom and sister-in-law would kill me. But more than that, I still need to tell her story. I just need that desire to consume me, to make me want to sit down and get it all out. I miss that! Instead, my mind is filled with different book ideas that I should start, just in case those rejections start piling in again. Something I’m avoiding, but maybe that would help? Maybe shifting my focus onto something brand-new will get the sparks of excitement bursting again.
Has anyone else had this issue? What’s worked to light that fire under you again? I’m taking the weekend off, lifting the pressure of needing to sit down and work on my WIP. Instead, I’m opening up a book to read for pleasure, and hoping that helps clear up the funk. And if doesn’t help, I’ll keep forcing myself to sit down and write the words. One way or another, Emma’s story will be told.